I've Learned My Lesson
My Freshman year at AUC, my heart belonged unequivocally to one remarkable young man. If memory serves, he was a Junior that year. I was a tiny nameless speck in his peripheral vision (the left side). And he….well, he was absolutely perfect. I don’t actually remember what it was that made him so desirable (he drove a motorcycle), but I’m sure I was attracted to his intellect (he wore a leather jacket) and charisma (it was a brown leather jacket).
My only memory of him places both of us at the cafeteria and I remember it as vividly as if it had happened yesterday (well, maybe week before last). I was sitting with my best friend, in a chair picked because it gave me a particularly advantageous look at the back of his head. This was not a decision made lightly and several chairs were tried and rejected before finding the perfect one.
When he finished his meal, before my heart could steel itself, he stood and began walking in my direction (it was also the direction of the exit). When he passed me, without looking at me (the emphasis here is important so go back and read that again), he tapped my table twice and kept going.
My heart soared.
At seventeen and in love, there were several ways that the table tapping could be interpreted. For the next few days, I examined all of them: he knew I existed! It was only a matter of time before I would bump into him (at the library, maybe) and I’d saucily tap the table where he sat. I’d lean in close and seductively say something memorable: “um….remember the day you tapped my table at the cafeteria” (OK I’d have to work on that.) Anyway, then he would turn his complete attention over to the periphery and we’d live happily ever after. (Our children would be cross-eyed, but sometimes you have to pay a price for true love.)
Of course, I’m a grown-up now. And I have learned the hard way—a text message where he casually mentions his whereabouts later is not the same thing as a date! When he calls because he’s bored, it’s not the same thing as calling because he wants to hear the sound of my voice! Telling me I’m such a good pal is not the same thing as wanting to spend time with me!
I get it: he’s just not that into me!
(But if he only turned to a little to the left….)
