In darkness....

Posted by Cecilia Leger on 11:30 PM
And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—
secret riches.
I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.

My friend Andrew introduced me to this text last year and it has since become one of my favorites because I’m well acquainted with darkness. And, often, darkness of my own making—a tempest in a glass of water. I over think things and then end up getting lost in my own musings and self doubt.

So I find compassion in the text in Isaiah. God’s purpose is not that I wallow in misery. But if that is where I find myself, then He’ll meet me there. He’s not afraid to go into the shadows with me; indeed, He’s gone there ahead of me. Without judgment.

In the quiet that comes after the storm of my pain, there has often been revelation and a renewed commitment to action. Such was the case this week. I walked into a labyrinth that I created and found myself caught in old habits of thought and in the grip of old emotions. It was frustrating to feel that I’d made such little progress in some areas.

One of the biggest treasures I’ve received from a time of darkness is understanding that it is OK to stumble, that today’s failures don’t have to limit the growth I can yet experience.

So where to from here? Well, I get up. I’m a little achy from the fall, but I can get up. And I’ll take as many steps toward health and healing as I can. I’ll take up the work again of learning to think along new pathways.

I am grateful. Not for the fall or the darkness, but for the God and the friends who don’t let me go through it alone.


Your blog of late has spoken to me and I wanted you to know that I (in my own way) can relate to the "pain" I am sensing. I don't know if you know this or not, but I am going through a very sad time in my life, and I am trying to hold my head above water, and try to build a new sense of who I am, and what I want my life to be. My husband of 15 years has left me, and thus our children. We are doing better...but I don't know when I will look on this with the feeling that it was for the best, as I am told will happen one day. I am going to have to learn that nothing is permanent, but that as long as I am true to who I am, I can go forth and wait for the "treasure" of what is to come. In my case, I am hoping to be loved one day. I am leaning on God and my friends, and I can say that He won't let us down. Hope life starts looking up for you soon! -Catrina

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